Monday, August 30, 2010
This endless moment: Monday-Non judgement reflections
This endless moment: Monday-Non judgement reflections: "As recommended in a shoot-off website of Chopra's Spiritual Laws, I am dedicating each day of the week to one of the 7 spiritual laws for su..."
Monday-Non judgement reflections
As recommended in a shoot-off website of Chopra's Spiritual Laws, I am dedicating each day of the week to one of the 7 spiritual laws for success. Today was nonjudgement. I was not completely succesful. I can look back and know there were times where I should have bowed my head and let it be, and let it pass, and I did not.
I also struggle with finding a balance between the work that I do, which could be say to be about judging people, events and situations. I am choosing to look at it as finding the truth. I can do my work more effectively if I do not form immediate opinions, if I am open enough for people to feel open, and yet if I do not blindly believe everything. Its a daily exercise. It can be a hard exercise.
Today, I want to thank the universe and divinity for the blessings bestowed on me and those around me. As this day comes to an end I am thankful for the opportunities in life I have. I am thankful for my father and my sister watching the kids while I am in school. I am thankful for the love of friends, and the opportunity to learn, and to be of service in any way. I am thankful for the wonderful teachers that instruct my dear children every day and all the hard work they do.
Today, I allowed judgment to take seed when I spoke to my ex, and I apologize. Today, I struggled with the idea of trying to determine how acceptance and nonjudgment work. Do I accept the sadness and longing I feel and stop fighting the urge to skip class to be home with my children? Or do I accept that I didn't have them and don't let emotions overcome me? Do I accept that I am making progress towards becoming vice free? Or accept I still struggle with my cigarette addiction, or judge myself as failing when comfronted with my inner demon of stress?
Its the end of today. I won't carry it into tomorrow. So farewell, and thank you.
I also struggle with finding a balance between the work that I do, which could be say to be about judging people, events and situations. I am choosing to look at it as finding the truth. I can do my work more effectively if I do not form immediate opinions, if I am open enough for people to feel open, and yet if I do not blindly believe everything. Its a daily exercise. It can be a hard exercise.
Today, I want to thank the universe and divinity for the blessings bestowed on me and those around me. As this day comes to an end I am thankful for the opportunities in life I have. I am thankful for my father and my sister watching the kids while I am in school. I am thankful for the love of friends, and the opportunity to learn, and to be of service in any way. I am thankful for the wonderful teachers that instruct my dear children every day and all the hard work they do.
Today, I allowed judgment to take seed when I spoke to my ex, and I apologize. Today, I struggled with the idea of trying to determine how acceptance and nonjudgment work. Do I accept the sadness and longing I feel and stop fighting the urge to skip class to be home with my children? Or do I accept that I didn't have them and don't let emotions overcome me? Do I accept that I am making progress towards becoming vice free? Or accept I still struggle with my cigarette addiction, or judge myself as failing when comfronted with my inner demon of stress?
Its the end of today. I won't carry it into tomorrow. So farewell, and thank you.
Why Now
As those who know me know first hand, words are my world. I seldom run out of them, though I do endeavor to use them less, I know I talk my fair share. I need an easily manageable outlet.
I dedicate this blog to myself, to my inner struggles and my lost battles, to my past present and future. To my quest for growth.
Why post it? A few reasons I believe.
I make it public it not out of egocentricity, but because for me it's the opposite. If I don't share, I am more likely to be thoughtless and altruistic and there's no teachers to correct my flawed thinking when I err or need help. If I do, I feel humbled and thankful for the chance to share and for the mutually inspirational moments. I also have the heart of a writer.
Why now?
Recent events in my life have led me back to the ways I have embraced and at times deemed to cumbersome to function. I have gone from stay at home mom, to working mom, to working-student mom, to single working-student mom. I went from cloth diapering and "radical" breast feeder, to pumper, to bottle feeder. I went from living solely for those around me, to appreciating and unapologetically enjoying past times and goals of my own. Once upon a time ate organic home cooked meals and made baby food, and two years later swung by Wendy's at least once a week and deemed sugar coated oranges as "fruit."
Spiritually I wrestled with Catholicism, explored humanism, universalism, Quakerism, Buddhism, Hinduism...and isms in between. I refused to capitalize the word God on account of one particular idea of him/her/it.
I've picked up my quest up the mountain again. I am far from perfect, I can bee foolish and still wear my emotions on my sleeve. I succumb to temptations. I have a hard time focusing. But I am working on it.
Yesterday and today, I did something I have not done in years, not exactly, not completely, not sincerely and with belief. I talked to god. I spoke to a male god, and a female god. I did it with all the conviction and in a personal way. This for me is huge because for all my agnostic beliefs, I've carried around an anger against certain religious institutions for years. I haven't really spoken or addressed divinity directly in about 11 years. I told myself I was, I meditated, I thought of concepts, I thought of 'energy', but deep down I avoided something I knew was there, and within, but had too much pride to accept.
Still now writing this I almost want to cling to the veil. That's why it's public.
So this is my forum to say thank you and to reflect. I do it without set expectations, and with the most pure intentions I can muster.
Namaste
I dedicate this blog to myself, to my inner struggles and my lost battles, to my past present and future. To my quest for growth.
Why post it? A few reasons I believe.
I make it public it not out of egocentricity, but because for me it's the opposite. If I don't share, I am more likely to be thoughtless and altruistic and there's no teachers to correct my flawed thinking when I err or need help. If I do, I feel humbled and thankful for the chance to share and for the mutually inspirational moments. I also have the heart of a writer.
Why now?
Recent events in my life have led me back to the ways I have embraced and at times deemed to cumbersome to function. I have gone from stay at home mom, to working mom, to working-student mom, to single working-student mom. I went from cloth diapering and "radical" breast feeder, to pumper, to bottle feeder. I went from living solely for those around me, to appreciating and unapologetically enjoying past times and goals of my own. Once upon a time ate organic home cooked meals and made baby food, and two years later swung by Wendy's at least once a week and deemed sugar coated oranges as "fruit."
Spiritually I wrestled with Catholicism, explored humanism, universalism, Quakerism, Buddhism, Hinduism...and isms in between. I refused to capitalize the word God on account of one particular idea of him/her/it.
I've picked up my quest up the mountain again. I am far from perfect, I can bee foolish and still wear my emotions on my sleeve. I succumb to temptations. I have a hard time focusing. But I am working on it.
Yesterday and today, I did something I have not done in years, not exactly, not completely, not sincerely and with belief. I talked to god. I spoke to a male god, and a female god. I did it with all the conviction and in a personal way. This for me is huge because for all my agnostic beliefs, I've carried around an anger against certain religious institutions for years. I haven't really spoken or addressed divinity directly in about 11 years. I told myself I was, I meditated, I thought of concepts, I thought of 'energy', but deep down I avoided something I knew was there, and within, but had too much pride to accept.
Still now writing this I almost want to cling to the veil. That's why it's public.
So this is my forum to say thank you and to reflect. I do it without set expectations, and with the most pure intentions I can muster.
Namaste
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)